Am I Healing, Or Lost More Then Ever?
by SapphireDragonFly
Summary: With his meds gone, Eli is going down a dark path with Imogen; the manipulative stalker.  Wasn't breaking up supposed to be an escape from the drama for Clare?  Will Jake be there to pick up the pieces?  Or will Clare&Eli make there way back?


**Am I Healing, Or Lost More Then Ever?**

Hey Everyone! I am new to Degrassi fanfiction. I hope you like what I have to offer. Enjoy ;P

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. If I did Eli and Clare would be together right now. 3

**Chapter One: Goodbye Pills**

Clare's POV

The touch of his lips felt so soft. I found myself wanting more. It was so different from before. I press my lips harder against as he runs a hand through my hair. I always love when guys do that. He presses his body against mine as we slowly lower our way to the couch. He crawls on top me pressing his body to mine. I blushed as I could feel something hard of his on my thigh. I stared into his eyes quickly before leaning back into another kiss. Slowly his soft lips moved from mine to my cheek, trailing down to my neck.

"Jake…" I moaned.

I bet you're wondering how I got here. Let's start from where it all began. Lunch time.

Lunch. This is time of day where I can sit back and have a bite to eat and relax. Nope. All I have is one person on my mind. Picking up my tray of school food I sit in solitary to think about my situation.

All I have to do is a simple interview for the newspaper, right? Shouldn't be so bad. I mean, Eli and I are going to both be mature about this. He is on anxiety medication. That should be good for him.

Ugh. How dare Katie assign this to me! I know I should be grateful for this opportunity but this is just so unfair! Why did I have to open my big mouth and tell her that Eli was my ex? Great job Clare Edwards.

Oh there he is… Why didn't I plan out how I was going to approach him? Planning would have been a great idea. Good job… Okay, time to take action. I stand up and throw out my tray casually. I slowly approach him.

"Hey…Eli? I was just wondering when we could have that interview."

"This afternoon! It's a date!" He said ecstatically. Maybe a little too happy…

"Okay…" I paused taken aback, "Great."

He did this cute little spin around and walked off. I stood there for a moment absorbing what just happened. I know his medication is supposed to help, but I just have a really bad feeling about this. Maybe there is nothing to worry about. I don't see why Eli and me can't go back to being friends. It will take time of course, but this could be a great step! Time to plan!

"Mrs. Edwards!"

"Huh?" I snapped back into reality, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked you what the Quadratic Formula is. Could you please tell me."

"Uhm" I ran my fingers through my hair. "x equals negative b, plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4ac, divided by 2a."

The teacher glanced down at me, "You're lucky this time Mrs. Edwards. But next time please don't go dazing off."

"Yes. Of course." I nodded. How could I dose off like that? Luckily I remembered the formula from like jhs but still. Eli is taking up too much space in my mind. Is this normal? I thought breaking up with him would finally get him out of my head. After this article I am so steering clear of him. Okay so, plan is this. Ask him the main points. Keep it strictly business. Then maybe add in a joke here or there to add in a social setting type feeling. And then finally, we can pass each other in the halls without having that awkward feeling.

Ding Dong. Dong Ding.

Finally class is over! I probably should have paid more attention. I need to keep up my good grades. All right, time to meet Eli. I rush pass the people in the hallway bumping into a few. Luckily nothing drops. Usually that happens. I can be such a klutz. I take a deep breath and I see that I've got to the place before Eli. This is good. I can set up. I go and sit at an empty table in the sun. It really was a beautiful day.

Okay, all set up. Pad and pen: Check. Recorder with batteries: Check. Ready!

Wait is that Eli with Imogen again? That girl gives me the creeps. Maybe I'm just being jealous. But why should I be? I should be over Eli now. I broke up with him!

"Hello Clare!" Eli said in the same elated voice as before. I hope this was going to go well. I guess its good he has a friend there to support him.

"Hey Eli. Are you ready to start?"

"Yes!"

"So…" I turn on my recorder, "What is the play about?"

"It is a dramatic play about two lovers at party! She is manipulative and gets him to do the craziest things. And, I have you to thank for this idea Clare! You were my muse! My inspiration!"

"Eli… you're nuts! Have you been taking your meds?" I stare into his frightened. It was like seeing him before we broke up all over again. This was why I broke up with him. He wasn't acting sane…

"No! I don't need them anymore!" He moved his face close to mine. I could smell his cologne. "I'm over you Clare!" Eli then moved back to the garbage can pulling out his bottle of anxiety pills. Then, he opened them, letting the pills slowly fall out before letting go of the container into the garbage as well. I could see the smirk on Imogen's face. I don't know who looked crazier at the moment. "Goodbye Clare."

"Eli…No! You need help!" I felt a huge pang in my chest as I watched him walk away. What had he done? He needs those pills! I'm so worried about him. There must be something that I could do. No Clare… It's his life. And you have an article to write… Its just an article, right? He says he is over me. Lets just, give it another day or two… Ugh! I cannot believe Eli! I quickly gather my stuff and run home. I didn't want to deal with this drama anymore!

Keys! Where are my keys? You have got to be kidding me. How did my day get even worse? I bang on the door. "Hello? Anyone there?" Finally, I feel the door open. I sigh in relief "Thanks Mo-" I look up to see someone tall.

He smirked, "Hello Clare."

I was taken aback. "What are you doing here?" I hope that didn't sound too harsh. I just didn't want to deal with him or anybody right now.

"Ouch Hostile. Why don't you come on in?" He continued to smirk holding out his arm and giving me room to pass.

"Okay…" I looked down walking in past him. I dropped my stuff on the table and moved over to the living room. I could hear his footsteps following me. "So, What are you doing here?"

"Your mother invited me over. And how could I pass on free food? I believe she went upstairs. So, Clare Edwards." He slowly approached me closer and I took two steps back, "What's got you so uptight? More then usual I mean." He lifted up an arm and used his fingertips to play with one of my curls. I slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me!"

"Ouch Clare." His eyes widened in a fake manner. "What ever did I do to you?"

"Jake… I just don't have time to deal with this. I had a bad run in with Eli. He is going nuts! I thought I wanted him to show emotion. But, then I found out he was on anxiety pills. Those were good for him! Then he met this creep Imogen. I swear she is manipulating him somehow! Why else would he stop taking his pills? Oh my god, I shouldn't be telling you this! I don't know what I'm supposed to do." I flung my arms up in the air. "Eli is going to write a play about us, making me the villain. He has gone completely craz-"

A pair of soft lips on mine cut me off. I felt his hands grab onto my wrists as he continued to kiss me. I found myself kissing back. My mind just shut down. I could feel Jake's lips forming a smirk as he slowly pulled back. "What were you saying?"

"I…don't remember."

"Good" He smirked. God I hate that smirk, yet I like it at the same time. I rushed forward grabbing onto his shoulders as I pressed my lips back against his.

The touch of his lips felt so soft. I found myself wanting more. It was so different from before. I press my lips harder against as he runs a hand through my hair. I always love when guys do that. He presses his body against mine as we slowly lower our way to the couch. He crawls on top me pressing his body to mine. I blushed as I could feel something hard of his on my thigh. I stared into his eyes quickly before leaning back into another kiss. Slowly his soft lips moved from mine to my cheek, trailing down to my neck.

"Clare Edwards!" The sound of my moms voice rang across the room. Jake jumped off me and I quickly sat up fixing my shirt.

"M-Mom…"

Author's note: Cliffhanger. I hope you liked it! Expect more from me soon. Please comment. Remember, the more comments = the more inspired I am to write. =3


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